Tag: National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

The Healing Power of Voice: A Three-Part Series


You Look a Lot Like Me Interview on Voice with Shavonne Broom of StyleChurch

Over the past few years, I have talked with many people about the power of sharing one’s story and giving a voice to one’s experience—not easy things to do. Even if we want to share, it can be difficult to know how to express ourselves—or even what we want or need to say—especially when we are feeling at our most vulnerable. Most of the individuals we interviewed for You Look a Lot Like Me talked about the difficult, but often uplifting process of finding one’s voice again after being abused. For these women and men, “finding one’s voice” meant different things and took different forms, but in all cases, it was a turning point in their healing journeys. I have learned from my own life and through these conversations that one’s voice can be a precious gift. How we use that gift can change our lives—and the lives of others—in meaningful and positive ways.

I am so pleased to share Part One of our Three-Part Interview Series on “The Healing Power of Voice” with Shavonne Broom of StyleChurch. Shavonne is a passionate woman and micropreneur who cares deeply about helping women to embrace and share their unique voices through personal style and other creative forms of self-expression. I am inspired by her philosophy and I hope you will be, too.

— Chloé McFeters

CM: Okay, so let’s jump right in. When I say the word “voice,” give me three words that come to mind. Why those three words?

SB: Self-expression. Self-expression is the freedom to share who you are with the world, whether through words, speaking, or creative expression. Story. So much of creative expression is about telling a story, and though words may not be spoken, there’s still a voice behind the message. Style. Style is a form of self-expression and creates a space for individuals to share their personal story with the world through clothing.

CM: Have there been times in your life when you felt as if you weren’t in touch with your voice, or that your voice was devalued or invalid or not “good enough?” Or that it wasn’t safe for you—either physically, emotionally, or spiritually—to share your voice?

SB: I was bullied as a child and this feeling of not being good enough that is so often associated with being bullied translated into how and when I chose to use my voice. I went through periods of low self-esteem and choose not to use my voice to avoid being ridiculed.

I remember several instances. I remember the constant name-calling and unsolicited remarks about how I looked. Most of it was verbal bullying. I was quite the “boy’s girl” growing up, so I was picked on for being a tomboy and mostly for “not being like the other girls.”

Some of the bullying stemmed from my introversion and shyness. I am an observer of people and situations and often came across as “weird.” I was very withdrawn and didn’t engage much about my personal life, especially throughout my teenage years.

From 7th to 10th grade, I experienced various forms of emotional and verbal attacks. I remember being surrounded by a crowd of people in the hallway in school and not knowing or understanding why. I eventually discovered I was being attacked for a reason that was quite unclear to me. I knew I didn’t say the words I was accused of saying. I had no idea how I became the center of a brawl. Luckily, I was able to escape without any physical contact.

I was also faced with idle threats and scares. I recall one in particular. She was quite bold. She called my parents’ home several times and threatened to “beat me up” on the answering message.

Others played the Jekyll and Hyde scenario. They seemed to be my friend one minute and the next we were enemies. This was quite confusing for me; I felt like I was constantly fighting to fit in.

Shavonne Broom in Part One of The Healing Power of Voice for You Look a Lot Like Me and Tortoise and Finch

CM: I can definitely relate to that. It was only as an adult that I realized, looking back, that I was also a victim of bullying in junior high school. I didn’t recognize it as bullying at the time. That experience definitely had an impact on my voice.

How do you believe bullying or various forms of abuse affect a person’s ability or desire to express his or her self?

SB: Bullying has a massive impact on self-expression. I believe self-expression is having the confidence to embrace your individuality. When I was bullied, part of me wanted to hide, but part of me still continued to embrace style as a way to share my voice during times when I was afraid to use words. I will say that my style reflected how I felt during these times in my life.

CM: Do you believe that negative comments always have to be overt to affect someone’s voice, or in your opinion, can even subtle remarks or gestures impact one’s ability to be free or to live his or her truth?

SB: I believe subtle remarks or gestures can have as much impact as more overt comments, especially if these remarks come from those we love and care about the most. Unless we feel absolutely grounded in who we are as individuals, and create boundaries around who and what we allow into our space, then negative comments can surely create the feeling of insecurity and unworthiness and keep us from living our lives to the fullest extent.

CM: How did living in conflict with your voice play out in your own life? How did it hold you back? How did that dissonance within yourself hurt or limit you?

SB: The conflict played out most during various transitional phases of my life.

After I separated from the Air Force, I moved from the DC area to San Antonio. I was navigating my way through a new city and a new lifestyle and the “little me” showed up after about six months of working retail and attending school concurrently. I felt a bit lost, confused and frightened by the uncertainty, so I accepted a job working with the military again. I wanted to spread my wings, but I didn’t have the courage for this huge undertaking, so I basically conceded and went back to my comfort zone.

The second and most impactful transition happened when I resigned as an Air Force contracted employee and transitioned into entrepreneurship. I was inundated with so many resources on how to start a business, but I was still struggling internally with who I was and I how could serve others. I had faced many childhood struggles with acceptance and recognized that, as a result, I was still afraid to show my face and share my message for fear of being criticized, so I hid with my story and message in hand.

CM: What changed for you? What did you do? Who did you meet? What shifted in your life?

SB: I met someone who believed in me…and my message. Funny enough, we met on Facebook. We both attended Marie Forleo’s B School and somehow I found her in one of the subgroups. If I remember correctly, she posted a message about her book, The Spirit of S.T.Y.L.E, and her message immediately resonated with me. At about nine or ten at night, I send her a private message telling her how I felt connected to her message and brand. We conversed back and forth for a while and eventually met for the first time on Skype. Her name is Jennifer Gabiola. She’s a marketing and brand strategist for women in the beauty and fashion industry. She’s also a poet, a fellow introvert, and a conscious stylist.

I was so excited to meet someone who understood me. I struggled with fitting in my entire life and Jennifer appreciates me for who I am and is invested in the StyleChurch movement. I felt free around her, and although I still struggle with “little me,” Jennifer keeps me lifted.

This has been the year of ascension for Jennifer’s company, Dawning Soul. She hosted her first “Quiet Voice, Big Impact” retreat, re-launched her branding course, “Quiet Voice, Big Impact” for introverted leaders in beauty and fashion, and was invited to be a guest blogger for the Huffington Post.

Jennifer is a force. She is a get-sh*t-done kind of woman. I like to call her “the activator.” She has blessed me and supported me throughout the evolution of StyleChurch and I am grateful to call her a coach, sister, and friend.

You Look a Lot Like Me Interview on Voice with Shavonne Broom of StyleChurch with Jennifer Gabiola of Dawning Soul

From Left: Brenda Canas, Simply Serene Wellness, Shavonne Broom, StyleChurch, Jennifer Dawn Gabiola, Dawning Soul, Jaleh Zandieh, Transformational Healing & Confidence Catalyst Creator of Hip Hop Meditation, Bianca Coleman, Last Weeks Looks, Shawna McGrath, Spiritual Business Consultant (Photo by Stephen Tyler, AKA “Dez the Great,” House of Greenwood Photography)

CM: I first met Jennifer in 2011 through the Kickstarter campaign for You Look a Lot Like Me and have continued to be inspired by her ever since. It seems like something you share in common with Jennifer is the desire to reach people on a deep and genuine level, and to help them realize their inherent beauty and worth, which as we all know (but might have trouble believing), has nothing to do with anything external. How important do you think it is to have women supporting other women in this way?

SB: Supporting other women is a necessity in my business and personal life. Everything I do is centered around encouraging and supporting others in their highest good.

I believe we thrive in community and that ultimate success happens when co-creation, collaboration and support follow.

Chloé, I love that you created a platform for people like me to share their voice. We met because our stories connect, and because we support each other, this allows for greater space to broaden the community of connections around us. The common thread becomes much more visible when we support each other and wow, what a force that creates.

CM: Do you think that a particular type of damage is done when it’s another woman who hurts us? Does a verbal or emotional or spiritual wound inflicted by another woman shut down or silence our voice in a different way?

SB: Absolutely! I’ll go back to the common thread analogy. As women, we share more of the same experiences than not. In the midst of a verbal or emotional shut-down, we can be left feeling disconnected from the “tribe” or support system that we often lean on for emotional support. We must get back on our feet, plug in, and connect to the women that get us, love us and want to see us win! This is how true sisterhood is formed.

CM: What’s the difference between your speaking voice and your inner voice? Which one is more important? How does one interact with and inform the other?

SB: Inner voice is spoken through our spirit and the medium we use to express our inner wisdom. Both are important in the expression of voice. The inner voice acts as our roadmap and guides our speaking voice in communicating what our inner voice (wisdom) directs us to say in the moment. I’m learning the power of “pause” and the importance of discernment between the two. I always hear the mind first, even when the inner voice is present. The pause allows space for the inner voice to be heard.

You Look a Lot Like Me Interview with Shavonne Broom of StyleChurch True Self Expression
CM: For you, does someone sharing his/her “voice” necessarily involve speaking out or becoming an advocate for a position or cause, etc., or can it be something that takes place almost entirely internally?

SB: I love this question because I believe sharing voice comes in so many different forms. Creative expression is sharing voice, speaking words is sharing voice, writing, performing arts, and production are all forms of sharing voice. I believe sharing our voice is the reason we live. Sharing voice is what connects one person to the next. This is how sisterhood and other communities are formed. And exactly how you and I connected.

CM: If we think about voice being something other than the act or style of expressing something in words, how does that free us? What are some other ways we might express our unique voices, especially when we are being quiet or even silent?

SB: I believe the form in which voice is shared is unique to the individual. I see writing, dance, poetry, singing, creating, and supporting a cause as some of the various ways to share voice. I believe sharing voice is about sharing who we are. We do this by connecting to what resonates with us and fills our heart space the most.

In moments of silence, listening to our favorite song can help connect to voice and express the words that may be difficult to say in the moment.

Various forms of movement can help us express our voice, too. I love to dance. Dance helps me express my voice in ways that are much more difficult to speak in words.

CM: I know that your company, StyleChurch, is about helping women to discover and embrace their personal style, but more than that, it seems to be about creating a space to share one’s voice through a loving, self-accepting embrace. Can you talk about that and what inspired this specific mission? Was it laser-sharp to begin with or did it evolve over time?

SB: StyleChurch evolved over time. I love creative expression and the story it tells. Initially I was focused on being a personal stylist, but I felt a part of my story was missing. What started off as a full service personal style business transitioned into a movement and being an encourager for women to embrace their individuality and share voice through personal style.

I offer personal styling, however, my main focus has shifted to speaking about self-acceptance and overcoming fears of being seen. StyleChurch is centered around collaboration. I love working with other organizations and micro entrepreneurs to support and encourage women to own their power, share their voice, and stand out in the world with purpose and style.

Embrace Your Voice Shavonne Broom of StyleChurch for You Look a Lot Like Me and Tortoise and Finch

CM: Personal style is obviously something that matters a great deal to you and has changed your life for the better. Do you believe one’s personal style has the capacity to tell one’s story?

SB: I believe personal style is storytelling and personal stories cannot be duplicated or reproduced. A style story is unique to the individual and their life experience and a conscious choice to share our voice with the world. It gives us the freedom to stand out in the crowd and say, “I am here.”

Growing up, I was surrounded by very stylish men and women in my family. I learned most about style from my mother and (maternal) grandmother. I’d tag along on shopping trips to Macy’s and watch them navigate various departments. They were always current with fashion trends, but they also knew how to inject just enough flair into their wardrobe to make it their own. Through watching my parents, I picked up my own sense of style. Not always in good taste, but my style was always indicative of certain phases in my life. I dressed like a tomboy throughout middle school and high school. Baggy pants and shirts filled my wardrobe. I felt comfortable in big, baggy clothes, but I was also the perfect target for bullying. I was not your “typical girl,” and as much as I wanted to just be a tomboy, I stood out from other girls in middle school and high school and the mean ones took notice. I was picked on for looking “like a boy.” Some even questioned my sexuality. The experience was hurtful, but self-expression was my safe space. I have not always been the most “stylish” person, but my style always told the most current story about me.

CM: Do you believe our voices change as our stories change, or are we always essentially the same at our core, and that what changes is how we use—or get better or worse at using—our voice?

SB: As with our style, our inner wisdom evolves as we do. The essence of who we are remains the same, but through experience we are afforded the opportunity to refine our voice.

CM: How can someone use personal style to heal? To go from the voice unspoken to the voice expressed with confidence and joy?

SB: Personal style is a form of self-expression and communicates who we are. When we choose to express ourselves, we are also saying that we accept ourselves, our journeys, and all the stories within them. The healing power is in the awareness of self and the ability to translate that into your unique personal style.

CM: How do you think a person knows when they’ve climbed that mountain of self-acceptance? There’s no one there to hand you a flag that you can stick in the ground on the summit, so how do you believe one knows when they have healed, or when one has actually come to love his or herself and embrace his or her inner voice?

SB: I believe self-acceptance is a journey, and the journey is what gives us the teachers, lessons and experience to help us get clear on who we are and how we are meant to serve and support in this world.

The moment we see our journey to self-acceptance as a gift and a launching pad to share, support, and serve others, our minds shift away from lack and we learn to fully embrace who we are as individuals.

CM: How important is it for someone to actively search for his or her voice? What are some exercises that you would suggest people use to get in touch with voice inside them?

SB: Clearing the clutter in our lives can help us become much better listeners. When we clear the clutter we allow space for our inner voice and wisdom to show up.

We can start by clearing our immediate environment: donate clothes that no longer fit or align with who you are now, organize your living space, and make room for your tribe—the people who love and support you and your mission.

You Look a Lot Like Me Interview with StyleChurch Founder Shavonne Broom

CM: One of your taglines for StyleChurch is “The doors to self-acceptance are always open to you.” Do you still struggle with self-acceptance? Do you view self-acceptance as a journey or a destination? How can we teach others to become more accepting of themselves and more compassionate toward themselves?

SB: The triggers from my childhood continue to show face, but through my own journey, I have developed a better sense of self and have learned more positive ways to get through the blocks that surround self-acceptance.

I view self-acceptance as a journey. The experiences in our lives offer us the opportunity for growth and expansion.

We can teach other people to be more accepting of themselves and more compassionate by staying close to things and people that bring happiness and joy in their lives.

Here are some internal and external actions we can take in our lives to fill our self-acceptance cup:

  1. Carve out non-negotiable time to connect with yourself. Dance, read, write or enjoy your favorite beverage and watch the sunrise. Open the space for clarity to seep through. Begin with gratitude.
  1. Be intentional about each day. Start off by vocalizing how you want to feel. Get dressed! Wear clothes that align with how you want to feel.
  1. Support others in the community. This is an excellent way to uplift our spirits and give us a sense of purpose and fulfillment in our lives.
  1. Form a personal and informal group of advisors who are invested in you. This could include mentors, accountability partners and spiritual teachers. Check in with them regularly and be honest.
  1. Set a nightly routine: Reflect on the day. Consider what you enjoyed most and how it made you feel. What did you do that you are proud of? Keep doing more of it!

CM: October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and many people who are reading this interview may feel as though their voices have been silenced due to the abuse they are experiencing or have experienced. Sometimes they remain silent because the risk of speaking out may put their lives in danger, or because they are embarrassed or ashamed or feel as though no one will understand or believe what they are going through. What would you want to say to those individuals?

SB: Choosing not to speak out for fear of putting your life in harm’s way is a respectable choice to make and one I support. In those specific instances, perhaps the individual could share their voice through other mediums of expression (e.g. dance, writing, drawing).

When we share our voice we not only tell our story, but we also become a voice for countless others who have similar experiences, promote awareness, and educate the public about a cause that may otherwise go unnoticed.

CM: When we look at domestic violence, we recognize that so many incidences go unreported, so many people suffer in silence. And this silence exists not only in relationship violence, but in other forms of violence against women, including sexual exploitation, trafficking, and sexual violence. As a woman, what would you suggest we do to better hear, listen to, and respond to these unspoken voices?

SB: We can be advocates for justice in our own communities by being vigilant, taking notice, and reporting these actions to the proper agencies without placing ourselves in harm’s way. We can also be a voice by supporting the agencies that advocate for victims of these violent acts.

CM: When we think about Domestic Violence and Violence Against Women, we know that countless voices around the world have been silenced forever through the senseless and tragic act of murder. What might we do to honor the voices of these victims?

SB: We can bring awareness through various platforms for the men and women who have been impacted to speak out about and educate the public on the impact these tragic acts have in our communities and around the world.

CM: Do you see any value in domestic violence shelters having people like yourself come to speak to the residents who are working to get their lives back on track? How do you believe that companies like StyleChurch can help to empower women and give them tools to express themselves before they might be ready to express their emotions or stories in words? How might it also help them prepare for going out into the world, finding a job, etc.?

Shavonne Broom on Voice for You Look a Lot Like Me

SB: The primary value for me is to create a space for these women to know they are seen, safe and supported.

StyleChurch represents embracing individuality and sharing voice through personal style.

I’d focus on giving these powerful women the opportunity to fully be themselves by creating the space for them to feel free.

The best preparation you can have in any transitional phase is self-awareness.


— helps us determine and discern what will be a good fit in our life going forward.

— helps us communicate our value, strengths and needs with clarity.

— gives us a sense of confidence knowing we belong and we matter.

CM: October is also National Bullying Prevention Month. We know that violence takes many interconnected forms, including bullying and intimate partner violence, and that the root causes of violence are often overlapping. So much of what you have said about your experiences with bullying could be said about a woman or man who is being abused by an intimate partner—the name-calling, the threats of physical violence, the intimidation, the confusion, the Jekyll and Hyde switch. Given your own experiences with being bullied as an adolescent and teenager, what would you say to a young person who may be in a similar situation? What would you say to an adult who is being bullied?

SB: You do not deserve this and you are not what they say you are. You are beautiful. You are enough. You are deserving. You are worthy. And you have a voice.

Your voice has the power to drive change. Start by telling someone. Be the beam of light that shuts out the darkness of bullying. When you choose to use your voice, you break the cycle of silence and raise awareness to those around you that this is a significant problem.

Ask a friend, teacher, or coach to guide you through getting the support you need to feel safe at school and/or in the workplace.

I also ask that co-workers, friends and colleagues support their peers by creating safe zones in their immediate environment where all parties advocate for zero tolerance.

CM: In your opinion, when does someone’s authentic voice speak louder and more profoundly than with words? Can you share a time in your life when someone sharing their authentic voice with you impacted your own voice or life in a positive way?

SB: The authentic voice speaks loudest in the space of service. I strongly believe the abundance we receive in our lives has a direct correlation with the people we serve and support along the way. We are created to serve and I think our sole purpose is to determine how we are to do so. I have experienced countless times when someone sharing their authentic voice impacted my own life. The most recent time was during the first annual “Quiet Voice, Big Impact” Retreat.

Jennifer Gabiola created the space for each of us to express our authentic voice. Meaning, we all had the opportunity to share our mission and to use our authentic voice to support and uplift each other throughout the entire retreat. Because I was offered this space, I could share the voice of creative expression by assisting with styling the ladies for the #Next Level photo shoot at the end of the retreat.

Shavonne Broom Part One On Voice for You Look a Lot Like Me

From Left: Brenda Canas, Simply Serene Wellness, Jennifer Dawn Gabiola, Dawning Soul, Shavonne Broom, StyleChurch, Bianca Coleman, Last Weeks Looks, Jaleh Zandieh, Transformational Healing & Confidence Catalyst Creator of Hip Hop Meditation, Shawna McGrath, Spiritual Business Consultant (Photo by Nick Jones, Mr. Instrumentalist Music)

CM: Can you please tell us a little bit about the services StyleChurch offers?

SB: The StyleChurch mission is to give people a voice to fully express themselves from the inside out. This means supporting women in developing a powerful presence and taking bold, courageous action in life.

Some of the services I offer:

Speaker: I enjoy speaking on self-acceptance and supporting women in overcoming fears of being seen during transitional phases in their life (as they move from one phase to the next). I love speaking at women’s retreats, live events and conferences.

Personal Styling Services: I offer high-touch, high-value, high-impact services where transformational results are apparent from beginning to end. These sessions are focused on supporting women in embracing their whole, individual selves and encouraging them to show up and be seen in the world.

CM: Where can people find you and your company?

SB: StyleChurch is available online at www.stylechurch.com. I am also active on Facebook at facebook.com/stylechurch.

CM: My company, Tortoise and Finch Productions, is about to announce a nonfiction writing contest on the topic of “courage.” We are thrilled that you are donating one of the prizes for the contest. What will you be donating and why is this particular donation special to you?

SB: I am donating my “Love, Me Manifesto,” which was created to support women in owning their way to self-expression. Self-expression is the center of what the StyleChurch movement is about. I think self-expression starts with understanding who we are at our core and this manifesto serves as a guide to support the journey of self-acceptance and creative expression.

CM: Is there anything else you would like to share?

SB: Chloe, thank you for the invitation. It’s been a great pleasure and honor to share my voice on the Tortoise and Finch platform. I hope this interview shines a beam of light on Domestic Violence Awareness and Bullying Prevention and encourages others to be a voice.

CM: You are so welcome, Shavonne! Thanks for sharing. You are a true inspiration and we can’t wait to have you back for part two in November!

Shavonne Broom of StyleChurch Part One of Three-Part Series on Voice

Shavonne Broom of StyleChurch (Video Still by Nick Jones, Mr. Instrumentalist Music)

To learn more about Shavonne and StyleChurch, please connect with her at www.stylechurch.com. Shavonne will be back for part two of our three-part series on “voice” in November. Please stay tuned.

What are your thoughts on the importance of discovering and sharing your “voice?” Please share in the comments below.

If you enjoyed this post, please help us spread the word by sharing it with your social circles. Thank you for your support.

One Quiet Voice Making A Big Impact: A Conversation with Jennifer Gabiola of Dawning Soul

Jennifer Gabiola of Dawning Soul

It’s always fun to be able to help spread the word about the successes of those who we consider to be part of the Tortoise and Finch family! Today we are celebrating Jennifer Gabiola of Dawning Soul. I first met Jennifer through the Kickstarter campaign for You Look a Lot Like Me, and it has been a joy getting to know her better over these past several years. Jennifer was one of our contributing artists on the campaign back in 2011 and we were proud to offer several items from her line of Dawning Soul products as rewards to our generous backers. We were so inspired by Jennifer that, in 2013, she was selected to be one of the featured artists in the Movie Companion Book for You Look a Lot Like Me.

Jennifer’s company, Dawning Soul, is all about helping women—and particularly women who self-identify as introverts—to honor their unique voices, callings, and inner beauty. Every time I speak with Jennifer, I’m struck by her kindness, and her genuine and intense passion for empowering women. Today, I am incredibly happy to help Jennifer announce that she is relaunching her own online branding course: “Quiet Voice Big Impact.” We hope you enjoy our conversation with Jennifer and that you will join us in celebrating her well-deserved success.

CM: So, Jennifer, why not start by telling us a little bit about yourself?

JG: I am an artist and poet at heart. I love using my branding and design passion to help empower introverted leaders. I love helping women to honor their inner beauty and see style as a sacred practice to express their true voice from the inside out.

CM: I have so enjoyed getting to know you since we first met during the Kickstarter campaign for You Look a Lot Like Me. I know that you got involved with supporting our project because you are deeply passionate about empowering women. Where does that passion come from?

JG: I enjoyed being part of such a powerful project. I loved that your mission was to give a voice to women whose lives have been touched by domestic abuse. I also love helping women own their voice and express the beauty of who they are on the inside. I love supporting projects that support women to own their true power.

CM: Tell us about your company, Dawning Soul.

JG: My mission for Dawning Soul is to help women own their inner beauty and true power. When you honor the beauty and value you have on the inside, that becomes the soulful and sustainable foundation for success in your life and business.

Through my poetic apparel collection, I help women express their true beauty from the inside out.

I also help introverted leaders own their quiet voice and fierce power to build brands that make a big impact. I especially love working with quiet leaders in the beauty and fashion industry to help make a positive impact by spreading the message of inner beauty.

My ultimate goal is to help make a positive impact on the beauty and fashion industry by helping to spread the message of inner beauty. Women need to honor the beauty and power they already have on the inside.

Jennifer Gabiola of Dawning Soul on You Look a Lot Like Me

CM: What first inspired you to start your company? What was the journey that led you to doing this work?

JG: I was first inspired to start my company because of a major turning point in my life. I lost my successful career as a Design Director and I got diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I lost everything that I thought was my identity. I validated myself with everything outside of me – my career and my personal image. So, I took a leap of faith and decided to do something I loved to help make a real difference. My calling, Dawning Soul, was born. I followed a divinely guided idea to put my poetry on clothes to help women celebrate their beauty from the inside out. Then after a few years, everything came full circle where I am using my passions for branding, design, style and personal empowerment to help introverted leaders own their voices to create brands that make a big impact.

CM: What was the first product you launched and what important lessons did you learn from that launch?

JG: The first project I launched was my Dawning Soul poetic tees. I learned how to follow my instincts and create something that came from my heart. I wanted to create an apparel line where I incorporated my personal poetry in order to help women express their beauty from the inside out. I learned that you don’t have to know the the big picture of where you’re headed. It’s good to take small, consistent steps. I learned that the creative process needs to feel inspired and organic. And that it’s safe for me to trust that I am being guided by a force greater than myself.

CM: How has Dawning Soul evolved since you first started the company?

JG: I started my company selling my poetic tees and now I also offer branding, design and personal presence support to help introverted leaders own their quiet voice and fierce power to build brands that make a big impact. Even though I have more offerings, my mission is still the same – to help women honor their true inner beauty as the soulful and sustainable foundation of personal and business success.

CM: What is your favorite aspect of the work that you do?

JG: Seeing my clients fully own the beauty and power of who they truly are.

StyleChurch Promo featured on You Look a Lot Like Me

CM: Tell us about some of your clients. Who are they? What do they do? How is Dawning Soul at work in their lives? 

JG: Shavonne Broom is a soul-driven fashion stylist and speaker. Through her business, StyleChurch, she empowers women to own their personal presence and style through self-acceptance and individuality. I helped create her entire brand identity.

Kelsi Hermus is the owner of the make-up and hair salon, Positive Eyedentities. Her mission is to help women feel beautiful from the inside out. I helped create her brand identity and cosmetic packaging which included empowering messages to remind women of their true beauty and power.

Positive Eyedentities via Dawning Soul on You Look a Lot Like Me

CM: I know that you recently received a pretty special e-mail. What can you tell us about that? 

JG: I got a personal email from Arianna Huffington inviting me to be a featured blogger on The Huffington Post. It was so surreal. I was like “Is this real life?” When I got my first article published, my web site crashed from 14,000 new visits. I then got a second article published the next week. I feel so grateful for this opportunity to share my voice to help my fellow introverts to own their voice and lead in their own way.

CM: Where can people find your posts for The Huffington Post? Do you also have your own blog?

JG: My Huffington Post Articles:

The #1 Superpower That Introverts Have That Others Can’t Touch

How To Be Undeniably Magnetic As An Introvert

Yes, I have my own blog on www.dawningsoul.com

CM: Tell us about what is going on and coming up with Dawning Soul.

JG: I just had my first “Quiet Voice Big Impact” 4-Day Live Retreat to help introverted leaders express their inner beauty and power from the inside out. The experience was pure magic. Here are some highlights from the retreat on YouTube.

I’m also relaunching my “Quiet Voice Big Impact” online branding course for introverts this month. The purpose of my course is to help quiet leaders feel confident and clear about their value so they can build brands that make a big impact on the lives of their dream clients.

Dawning Soul Print Image via You Look a Lot Like Me

CM: What is one thing that you wish all women already knew about themselves?

JG: That who they are is on purpose and good enough. I want women to honor their lives as sacred. I want them to know that they are beautiful and whole just as they are. And they are built to be unlimited.

CM: With October being National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, what are some of your thoughts on how women might begin to rediscover their unique voices after leaving a situation involving domestic violence? 

JG: I suggest women taking some time to remember who they are. It’s important to give yourself time and space to heal from leaving a painful past. The goal is to love and forgive yourself and to trust that you can rebuild your life based on your own rules. You always have the power to create your life as you choose.

CM:  How can people connect with you?
JG: People can connect with me via my website at www.dawningsoul.com.

CM: Any final thoughts?
JG: Thank you for this incredible opportunity to share my voice and vision.

CM: You are so welcome, Jenn, and best of luck with Quiet Voice Big Impact!

Quiet Voice Big Impact of Dawning Soul via You Look a Lot Like Me

Stay Tuned!

In October, Tortoise and Finch will be conducting an online survey and contest and we’d like you to participate. One of the prizes being offered is a free 45-minute private coaching call with Jennifer. This 1:1 call is designed help you feel confident with your quiet voice and build your brand so you can attract your dream clients. On the call, Jennifer will help you get clear on your value and create inspired action steps to help you be more visible and make a big impact with your brand.

Jennifer has an 18+ year background in branding and design and loves helping quiet leaders own their voices and fierce power so that they can make a big impact with their brands.

More details to follow, so if you aren’t already subscribed to our e-mail list, be sure to join today.

For those of you interested in learning more about Jennifer’s online branding course, “Quiet Voice Big Impact,” please be sure to check it out soon. Jennifer launched the the 2015 round of this course today and will remain open for enrollment until Oct 5th at 11:59 p.m. CST.

How do you express your inner voice and beauty as a woman, and as an introvert? Please share your comment with us below.

If you enjoyed this post, please help us spread the word by sharing it with your social circles. Thank you for your support.

The Flaws That Bind: An Interview with Rebecca Leo

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). In the coming weeks, all across the country, a wide variety of activities and events have been planned in the spirit of uniting all those who have been affected by and who are working to end domestic violence. In addition to creating a sense of true unity around this serious social problem, Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a time to mourn all those who have lost their lives as a result of domestic violence, to celebrate the lives of those who have survived, and to help raise further awareness of this issue in the U.S. and around the world.

Rebecca Leo

Author Rebecca Leo

In honor of DVAM, I wanted to introduce you to someone I really admire, someone whose work is helping to raise further awareness of domestic violence, author Rebecca Leo. I was first introduced to Rebecca during the Kickstarter fundraising campaign for You Look a Lot Like Me, and over the years, I have been fortunate enough to become acquainted with her writing. Her recently released novel, The Flaws that Bind, is a very important and beautifully written book. I asked Rebecca if she would be willing to share a little bit about herself and her work with all of you. She very kindly agreed.

Hope you enjoy!

Chloé McFeters

CM: I was honored to be able to read and review your new book, The Flaws That Bind. It was such a vulnerable and inspiring account of one woman’s struggle with domestic abuse. Congratulations! How does it feel to have this story set free in the world?

RL: I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my back. The book which I’ve been working on for over fifteen years has now taken flight. What a relief to see it sailing, like a kite! Who knows where it will go? I also notice that I have been smiling more, just feeling happy, more so than before. I have accomplished a long sought after goal, something that I never knew if I would achieve, and now I have. Hurray! It gives me feelings of relief, happiness, contentment, and confidence.


The Flaws That Bind at the Waverly Hospital Gift Shop in Waverly, Iowa

CM: Through our connecting on this topic, I became aware that you, like me, are a survivor of domestic abuse. How would you say that your personal experiences with domestic violence shaped the richly layered characters you crafted in The Flaws That Bind?

RL: I’ve had an adventuresome life, filled with many interesting persons. Some characters in the book were inspired by them. And in several cases, characters were composites of two or more people I’ve known.

CM: Much of the novel is set against the backdrop of Jamaica in the 1970’s. You did an exquisite job of bringing the beauty of Jamaican culture to life on the page, but you were also able to capture the palpable turbulence of the time in a way that allows the reader to really appreciate the frustration and hopelessness that many young Jamaicans were undoubtedly feeling. I sensed a deep respect and affinity for the country in your writing. Is Jamaica a place that holds a special spot in your heart? If so, can you share a bit about that?

RL: Jamaica does indeed hold a special place in my heart. After getting my children away from their abusive father, I did not return for over 15 years. But in the past 20 years we have gone there many times. It continues to draw me back, as if it were my birthplace. I think that is because it is the birthplace of my children, and that makes it my home forever. But it’s not only that, Jamaica is a beautiful island with perfect climate and kind people. I feel so connected with the island that I have considered having my ashes buried there and/or scattered in the Caribbean Sea off the shore of Jamaica.

CM: I fell in love with the character of Jac. What can you share with us about her?

RL: I love her, too…. like a daughter. Sometimes I just want to shake her, knock some sense into her. Other times I applaud her courage. And I agonize with her suffering and sorrow over how different her life has developed from her lofty dream of being a better parent than her own were. Always I root for her, want her to find a safe way out of the very dangerous predicament for the children and herself. I understand her worst fear that either David or she will kill the other and then the children will be sent to foster homes.

CM: You say that sometimes you just want to “shake” Jac. I have, many times now, heard (and witnessed) that same sincere heartbreak and frustration from a loved one, the family member or friend of someone who is being abused. In the past, I personally experienced that frustration from others, and I have also felt it myself when friends I love were being abused. It can be so sad and so difficult to stand by and watch while someone you care about is being subjected to disrespectful, controlling, and often dangerous behaviors, and it can be even harder to understand why your loved one isn’t leaving the relationship, even after you may have offered help.

As someone who has experienced domestic violence firsthand, what insights can you share for those family members or friends who might be faced with the deep desire to help someone they know is being abused, but who might also feel helpless, frustrated, or unsure of what to do?

RL: The subject is/has been so taboo. It’s hard to bring it up with victims because they are generally ashamed of what’s happening to them and/or are in denial. Plus they are afraid that the abuser will find out that they have told. So one could be creating a dangerous situation for the victim.

I think that a concerned friend or family member needs to let the abused person know of their concern for her/his welfare, safety and happiness, and that they are available to listen and to help without making judgments. It would help if that person is able to admit to being in a similar situation. That honesty can open a gate that releases a flood of confessions. But the concerned person should have no illusions that they can fix the problems. The best thing they could do if the victim confides in them, is get her/him to professionals. Connect her/him with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). They will refer you to an organization in your area.

CM: Jac’s family life is… complicated. Can you talk about the reality that so many victims of domestic violence face: that sometimes simply going home isn’t an option because that home doesn’t actually exist?

RL: This brings us to the generational component in domestic violence. It’s very real for many reasons, depending on the circumstances. The child may have been physically, mentally or sexually abused, or all three. In any case, home is not a safe place. When that is the case, the child has been effectively abandoned. She (or he) is on her own, without protection, and therefore incredibly vulnerable in the society to anyone who would take advantage. And thus the cycles of abuse are repeated from one generation to the next. When Jac eventually gets therapy she discovers all this and dedicates herself to breaking that cycle. More about that process in the sequel.

CM: As part of her journey, Jac begins practicing the healing art of massage. I found it so poignant that Jac was able to use her hands to provide comfort and relaxation to others at a time when she herself was suffering such brutality at the hands of someone very close to her. Touch requires a certain level of intimacy and trust, precious gifts that painfully eluded Jac for many years. Do you think that massage could/should be more widely used as a healing tool for those who have been victimized by violence?

RL: A good question. My answer is “Yes.” But only at the hands of a very skilled, experienced and aware practitioner. There are many different massage techniques. My favorites are Shiatsu (acupressure) and reflexology. I think they are especially effective in releasing pain resulting from emotional trauma.

Although I have not used it personally, I’ve heard that Reiki is also very good.

CM: In your own life, what were some of the healing tools you utilized after leaving your abuser?

RL: Yoga, meditation, massage, counseling, reading, supportive friends, writing, dancing, and forgiving myself.

CM: I’ve learned in doing this work for more than eight years now that many, many people still view domestic violence as solely physical violence. Why do you believe it might be difficult for some people to acknowledge or recognize other forms of domestic abuse?

RL: Perhaps because the scars are not visible. Essentially any behavior which involves controlling another person through fear is a form of abuse. This can include fear of not being loved, fear of being abandoned, fear of being ridiculed. Exercising control with these behaviors is also used in parenting. This is not something that can be controlled by legislation, but it could become part of an expanded mental health program. As one TV personality recently pointed out, “We take care of children’s physical health and dental health, but not their mental health.” He has become an advocate of adding that to our health services — lifetime mental health checkups and care.

CM: Your story is clearly one that will raise further awareness about domestic violence, as the themes you explore in The Flaws That Bind are still as relevant as ever today. What are some things that you would like to convey to the public about this issue?

The Flaws That Bind

RL: With the publication of this book I have committed myself to be active in the effort to bring domestic violence out of the proverbial closet. It is a hidden crime because of the shame involved. Victims are ashamed, but in hiding the abuse they also protect the abuser. Victims are also afraid, for it is typical of abusers to forbid them to tell anyone, and that includes neighbors, friends, fellow workers, police, and relatives.

My message to readers is to be more aware of signs that someone you know may be a victim in need of help and find a way to reach out to that person. Talking about the abuse is one way to take away the power of the silence that surrounds it.

The quest for equal rights for women began centuries ago. Women were freed from slavery. Then we gained the right to vote, to work, to use birth control, to join the military, but we are still working for the right to equal pay for equal work, the right to have paid maternity leave, and the right to live free of sexual and physical abuse in the workplace and in our own homes.

Essential to this struggle is improved availability of mental health services. Since the widespread closing of mental hospitals in this country decades ago and the dearth of affordable mental health treatment, there has been an escalation of gun violence, and also of partner violence, which includes date rape and abuse. Increased public awareness of the problem is necessary if we are to see an expansion of services to treat perpetrators and more facilities to protect victims and support them in remaking their lives.

CM: I know that The Flaws That Bind is not your first book. What can you tell us about the others?

RL: The first book I wrote (on a typewriter) is titled Loving Touch for Your Child. It has not yet been published. If I were to revise it for publication, I may change the title back to the original one, Spare the Rod and Massage Your Child. I would appreciate feedback on which title is more appealing. Parents of young children are the target audience. The book explains how to use techniques of Shiatsu and Reflexology effectively in dealing with both health and behavior issues as well as for improving school performance. It is well illustrated with professional photos and drawings.

I contributed two chapters to The Revision Process by Robin Stratton. This is an excellent handbook for writers, and to this day I use it as a refresher course to help me write better.

I have also written two screenplays. The Bee Preacher is based on the life and accomplishments of an impoverished and uneducated Jamaican beekeeper. Angered and stymied by injustices of the colonial class system, he emigrates to the U.S. at the beginning of the 20th century and works himself ragged until he becomes a broadcasting pioneer by establishing the first regular broadcast ministry in the U.S. But the toughest challenge is to forgive himself for the secret guilt that haunts him.

Yankee Swap, a comedy designed for winter holiday entertainment, features an extended family gathering wherein guests bring wrapped gifts to exchange in the New England tradition of re-choosing opened presents. When some people are unwilling to give up their gifts according to the established rules, arguments start and hurt feelings soon escalate out of control. One guest whispers to the hostess, “We gotta do something quick, or this family will never recover. It could be the end!”

CM: I read that you used to teach writing in the Boston area. What advice would you give to an aspiring writer who may be reading this interview, hoping to one day publish a novel of their own?

RL: Remember the old saw: Every journey begins with a single step. Likewise, every book begins with a single sentence. Do not be daunted by the enormity of the task. Just start somewhere and allow the story to unfold… one sentence, one paragraph, one page at a time. And then keep going. Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT get stuck trying to make any sentence or paragraph perfect. That is the beauty of computers/word processors: we can go back and revise again and again and again. Just get the thoughts out there on paper as fast as they pour from your mind.

Perhaps the most important factor in the development of my writing was participation in a writing group. The makeup of my group changed a bit over the years, but we generally met once every two weeks to exchange and critique manuscripts. Three members remained steadfast for at least a dozen years, and since I left Boston we have continued exchanging and critiquing manuscripts via the Internet.

CM: Do you have any treasured writer’s rituals that you can share with our audience?

RL: I can’t think of any rituals per se, except that I generally have a cup of coffee or tea on my desk that I frequently sip on. I also am constantly reading good books. Before I began what became the final rewrite of The Flaws That Bind I discovered that I liked the writing style of Daphne du Maurier a great deal. And so I loaded up on every book by her that I could lay hands on and read them. Sometimes I read aloud, listening to the prose. Thus her style got into my head and gave me confidence as I rewrote Flaws. And throughout the editing and proofreading I continued to read aloud. So many errors can be found that way, by hearing them, but which the eye misses when reading silently.

CM: What inspires you to tell stories? How have those sources of inspiration changed for you over the years?

RL: When I was a young child I enjoyed listening to my mother read books aloud, not just storybooks, but novels like Robinson Crusoe and Tom Sawyer. Later, writing in a diary became a daily ritual. Then I started writing poems and stories, but I really wanted to write a novel. It was the encouragement of my loving husband that finally gave me the confidence to undertake that task. He makes me feel special and supported.

CM: We have both had work published through Big Table Publishing. For me, it was a true joy to work and collaborate with their acquisitions editor, Robin Stratton, who also serves as editor-in-chief of the Boston Literary Magazine. Can you talk a bit about the experience of working with Big Table on this project?

RL: Like you, I am eternally grateful for the direction, support, expertise and resourcefulness of Robin Stratton. She has never wavered in her steadfast professionalism and endless patience and creativity.

CM: I know that you participated in a book signing tour for The Flaws That Bind over the summer. What was that like?

RL: It was rather like a roller coaster ride: terrifying, fun, interesting, exhilarating and also exhausting. Most importantly, it was a learning experience and confidence builder. Now when faced with promotional appearances, I am more relaxed and confident that I can deal with whatever comes up. The most surprising thing to me on the tour was how many women came up to me and quietly told me they had also been victims of DV. I know they were speaking confidentially, that even their friends didn’t know what they’d been through. This made me realize how much shame there is around the subject and how important it is to break that barrier which keeps women enslaved.


Rebecca at an Iowa Book Tour Luncheon sponsored by Cedar Valley Friends of the Family

CM: Will you be participating in any activities or events during National Domestic Violence Awareness Month?

RL: Yes, several are planned: Two at libraries, one at a bookstore, and one at a women’s resource center where I’ll be addressing the graduating class of a new group who have just finished training to be crisis hotline operators.


Rebecca at a Write On Oceanside Event featuring local authors in Oceanside, California

CM: You have become acquainted with a number of domestic violence organizations as a result of working on and releasing The Flaws That Bind. Are there any in particular that you would like to highlight here?

RL: Yes. The two that I have been most active supporting are the Women’s Resource Center in Oceanside, CA (www.wrcsd.org) and the Leap To Success organization in Carlsbad, CA (http://www.leaptosuccess.org), both of which are working to transform the lives of women and children who have been victims of domestic violence. I respect their efforts very much, for the work is dangerous and unglamorous, while also being very rewarding when clients are able to transform their lives and families.


Launch Party for The Flaws That Bind with Dana Bristol-Smith of Leap to Success and Lorna Riley


Rebecca Leo at a Leap to Success Fundraising Event
Raising funds to empower women recovering from domestic violence

CM: The Flaws that Bind was released not too long ago and we want to be able to tell people how they can get their hands on a copy. Please tell us where to find your book.

RL: Signed copies can be purchased on my web site: www.RebeccaLeo.com. Unsigned copies and Kindle versions are available on Amazon.

CM: Where can people go to learn more about you, your work, and any future projects?

RL: Again they can go to my web site (see above), or they can check on my Facebook page which is at: https://www.facebook.com/RebeccaLeoAuthor.

On Thursday, Oct. 16, at 7 pm, at the Upstart Crow Book Store in Seaport Village, 835 W Harbor Drive, San Diego, CA 92101, Rebecca will be talking about how she survived extreme abuse and reading passages from her recently published memoir-based novel, The Flaws That Bind. The book takes place largely in Jamaica, West Indies. She will then answer questions and monitor a discussion about combating and preventing these insidious crimes. Signed copies of her book will be available for purchase.

On Saturday, Nov. 1, National Authors’ Day, Rebecca will be at the Mission Branch of the Oceanside Library, 3861B Mission Avenue, Oceanside, CA, at 2 p.m. where she will talk about surviving domestic violence, read excerpts from her novel, and answer questions. Signed copies of her book will be available for purchase.

For more information on DVAM events around the country, please visit the website for the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (NRCDV).

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